Whose soul shall remain empty?

 

And yet prospers those fastidious growths,
Rotten hearts, filled with mirth,
Their pleasures were mine, yet crude, it all was,
Incoherent thought sure takes its birth.

The solemn truth, that which heart binds,
That which is pure, the mind seldom finds,
The earnest cycle's forgotten ways,
In blissful tenderness, everything sways.

All was his, who chose to command,
And yet laws bound, and sanctimonious it becomes,
The kingdom restricts, the cage enslaving,
And all is lost, in its drudgerious churns.

Quivers he, whose hands were blessed,
And on his forehead, A kiss was marked.
And in that gaiety, he walked unheeded,
Was there a wish, unknowingly asked?

In the cycle of eternity, pledges are made,
And all is cursed, to perish in self-pity,
Some find right, and some get lost,
Yet, who shall die, with a soul dead empty?

I love myself

I love myself, and while doing so, I love her. And that's all I do.

Loud enough?

Well, this is it, secret, yet, robust. As if the world holds no power to destroy it, and as if the ride is never against anyody. As if there is no "them" just "us" just me, just you. And I think, is it essential for human to find a battle, a war, a challenge to live? Is it not foolish? Who else is here? What else bothers? Is it not us who create? And is it not "Us" again, who destroy? The drudgery, the friction are all insignificant events in life. Do you feel gravity pulling you down? You only can feel it when you are climbing a rock, or trying to fly. There again, when you are half-way up in the rock, neither up. nor down, and you look below, to top seems to be too high for you to reach, and the bottom to inviting. But you remain there, not daring a movement. For you know, if you go up, you shall come back to this point again. Will you like it? And you forget the joy that reaching the top shall offer. And you decide to come down. But you can not.

All is useless. And everyone is fretting. What to do? Why to do? Why not to do? Is there an answer? Is there a book you can read without following it or dismissing it? What do you have other than opinions? What do you know?

I love myself.
Do you waste your time? Half of the time, my course does not interest me. And yet, I scamper through the exams. Never reaching the top most position, never waiting for another chance.
Why do we see life as a battle? Why I am "I" and you are "you"? Why  we could not just be "Us"? What if this is what we are meant to do? What if we are meant to do nothing? What to value?
Ask a thousand questions, and the universe has space for answers. As if it says, "Go, find it." And I ask back, is it all that I can know? Is my knowledge the limit? Can anything else be known? And if yes, where from? If I know its presence, do I not know it then? Can I love her, and yet wait to find another better one? Will I love her then? If I this is not love, then whom can I love without waiting to see better? Do I acknowledge the existence of better ones? A better her after a few years?
I have done the best thing in my life, and yet, it seems that I can do even better. I have done the best, for the best is the reality. Then why does the mind say, there are better tasks, that await you. How do I know? Is my mind just pretentious? Is it just adriving force that drives me on.
I have answers, and yet, I have a question. Are my answers the best answers? What defines best answers?
I do not read any more. I read books as if to feed myself. I do not grow anymore. Human are human after all. They can not grow like a tree, life long. After sometime, everything becomes repeatitive, and only the girth increases. Still there is growth. There is richness, without the adventures.
The youth offered money, and spending aveneus. Now, the money still comes, but the roads are bolcked. Everything ferments, and secrets juices. Fragrance. I live on, loving myself.
A day comes, when I wake up, come to the virtual world, and see this empty screen. I want to write someting. I write I love myself. And the words flow out of no where. As if I initiated a chain reaction.
I would write on. Without planning. This is a for this moment post. I spent a fortune last night. A fortune that I do not have now. What if the world ends to day and I die without paying for last night's pleasure.
There is this "Iron Maiden" song, "Hallowed be thy name". And there is this Sonu Nigam song, "Tera Milna". I have strange thought. I think Punjabis like this name. Bengalis like "Vicky", "Suman", names which are girlish.
Anyways, Whatever. What the fuck Am I writing? Who cares? This is my free space. Well not free actually. SOmebody pays for this Space. I do not. I do not earn any money. I eat, drink, sleep, love at my father's expense. And I keep criticising him, labelling him. Again, I love being a hypocrite. Who cares as long as my food and my bed and my sex-sprees are paid for. My smokes, ah, I cant even buy the food for my mind. I tried to make myself believe this was value addition, I tried fooling myself, I tried justifying my parasitic existence.
No more. I love my life, and I deserve to live. I shall live. I was one of the ten million sperms that fought for me, the Ova. I was the sperm, I was the ova. I was two different things, present in two different people's body. And half of me could have been born. My sperm half could have lost the battle. My ova half could have not found any sperm. It could have been killed by contraceptives, abortion. Man..It is a fluke I am here. But, when I had a chance, I fought, and I fought like hell, depriving all my brother and sister sperms. I did not let them have a life. I wanted life. Well, even if they succeeded, I would have been here. And this is my ovum part writng.
It feels one thing was sure, its existence. It is male now, could have been female as well.
Holky shit. I swear I am not drunk.
How insignificant you are, how greedy you are, you are a parasite, you are a killer, you steal, you justify in vain. Fuck human race.
I love myself yet.
And I need no reason, no justification, nothing for that. This is unconditional, the best form of love, my self-love. Even if I steal, I would love myself. I have stolen things. Yes, I have. I know.
Great, yet I love myself. My love for myself never dies.

Hungry, thristy parasite will drink blood, again. I shall be the leech, and derive pleasure out of it. And it shall be pleasing to the other person as well. We want to be sucked.
We suck so much in life that when somebody touches you, your thing gets you know what, and the same happens to me. When somebody sucks me out, I feel like the king. Oh..Grat, I have loads to give. Suck me beautiful.
Insignificant we are, yet we keep looking forsomebody to say the contrary. SOmebody to say it is not so.
I love myself. Again.
I love her for I love myself. Again.
And I do not care for the others. I want money to come in, foods cooked, drinks served, I want a bed. As long as these are present with her to please my blood-thirsty mind and body, who cares about others, the same old dumb "piece-of-ass" kind of people who are suckers like us? Why would I walk out to see a man sucking the same way as I do every morning?

I love myself.

Dheera-Adheera

Ami Nirbadh, Abodh, Satato-mukto, Abishram Anande,
Nitya atma-magna, Sabita sama Alokpurno, Bikashita chitta
Ek abirata Atma-magna Deba.
Amar mon ek Chiroswapno-rachayita, Abishranto Abyaye,
Asim Bismaye, Sada-Kalpana-rata, Apana-Mohita, Taba Tapa-samahita,
Kabita.
Tumi ek Naari, Sundari, Darpan-sama, Bismayabrita,
Tumi Kandari, Nitya-Nirasa-nirathak-Nimeshe PolokeSanjeebito,
Rasbrita, Artho-Samanwito, Taba Manas-Krita Range Paripurnakari.
Ami Premik Tomar, Rasakankhi, Bhaber atisojjye Chira-bilin,
Ardha-cheta, Aradhanarata, Birata sakal Parthiba Kame.
Ami Samrat, Birat, Chira-Kalpa-Sagar, Rasa-nagar, Ardha-Abaeshe Chira-Samahito,
Nimojjyito, Akantho-Ashiro, Tomari Preme.
Tumi Jagroto, Chiro Bichitro, Dheera, Salila-Sama, Taba Bhabarashi,
Aponari bege Tatinee-Sama, Chira Tunge, Aponari Chonde.
Mama Prem, Nirjharini, Adhira, Abega-purno, Bichitro Abyaer Saathe,
Tomare Prokashe, Kokhono Ucche Kokhono Shante,
Chiro Bigalita Tomari Anande.
Atha(H) Premakrita Shabdabesha(H) Prakasha(H)

Dwaito

Ami adbhut rishi ek, chandoboddho prachin arbachinota,
Tomar prem amate, muhurter chirokankhito abinashwarota,
Ami adbhut rishi ek, khando khando muhurter dinota.

Amar hridayer pashe, moner uchhase, tomar hriday,
Ar chaturdike, akasher pashe, stutiroto, gaddyo mohomay,
Kabitay, chonde, anonde, sarobyapto, amar asthirota,
Ar tomar sthayitter pashe boddho, atmonogno amar kobita.

Ami bijito, prabal chitto mahiruha bot,
Amar prabolyer bhare anato, amari mostok,
Ar tomar khymahin prjjyolota, amar nirbapito deenota,
Sarbotro tomari tore, amar parajoyotsab.

Bijito, kritodar, chondoboddho muni, Ami,
Tomari tore rochiyachi, amar e monobhumi,
Ar tumi, tomar kalponar poroshe, Chitto horoshe,
Jelecho je alo, tate muhrmuhu andolito, Ami ar tumi.

Priya, prithibir pore, sotto mithya ache,
Ar ache prem, sthayitter shikhor pore chiro dyutiman
Pollobito brikhho mor, grohon koro se,
Amar premer chondo, tomari kirtiman.

Amader tore, natun prithibi ek ache,
Hridayer alo ache, bhalobasa, shukh,
Nam ache, Bhasa ache, bondhoner gane,
Sourabhito, udwelito, amader buk.

Amader biswa swargo, tomatei ami,
Chirodin khuje jai, chirayoto more,
Ar tomar buker pore, amar anoto shir.
Bhalobasa esechei, swargo rochibo ami prithibir pore.



P.S. Onekdin por ekta bangla kobita.

An Attempt to a Rhyming Poem

They walk to a land unknown,
Where there are prayers, and God exists
They walk to a land where pleadings exist.

A man it took, to go to the hell,
Who sold his soul, and rang the bell,

A man it took, and nails pierced,
When he bleeds on the cross,
And the world watched.
A man it was, and a chariot's ride,
For losers to win, and the outrage of pride.

A man it took, who could not write,
To write a book, of humanity's rite
And men it takes, to follow them like sheep,
In the darkness of doom, where emptiness is deep.

Yet they walk, beheaded souls,
On mysteries path, with forgotten goals.
Truth's forsaken path, where flowers bloom,
In their eyes, is covered with gloom.

The man rode on, imaginations high,
The spires were built, and it obstructed the sky.
Drove on men, carrying their Book,
Sword they showed, and weak hearts shook.

And here we are, on a liberated earth,
Vanquished rule you, and losers enjoy mirth.
Your hands are free, yet create you not,
Your wishes perish, and your desires rot.

The canines of gatherings, the power of a bundle,
And when it comes, your heart does rumble,
And you wish you were them, the suckers of life
And your mind some times, makes a bitter strife.

The power is hailed, and the weak surrender
And creations empower the meek, and the creators prosper
When the world watches along, and it can only drool,
Why survive, when you can live and rule?

A walk

A man and his bride were on a path,
Trading values, and whispering they walked.
A man held his bride’s hand and watched,
And in sunlight, their thoughts were washed.
The man, the miner, the conjurer of life,
The bride, the joy, the abundance of rife,
Together they walked and mysteries got going,
And the happiness is in them, it was all overflowing.
With her hands in his, the dreamy eyed lady,
In her melancholic voice, asked her man,
If love is what I get, and you don’t walk,
Why don’t you love other ladies then?
The man, solemn, and his somber voice,
That was just about a whispering noise,
Told her lady, it is all about a choice,
To love you or walk otherwise barren.
For they land beyond, however different it is
Carries the same knowledge unless it is pondered and imbibed,
And to go and to stop there, my present deprived
The thoughts, that I may repent, come then.
It is worth not the risk, nor the endeavor,
The serendipity of it, or creator's pleasure.
We can be here and eternally talk
For it makes more sense to kiss you then walk.


P.S. This poetry is one of my conjugate works. The thoughts are Her, the last line is Her, and it is she who is the man here, and I am the woman. To bring this poetry in to existence, I changed the occurrences a bit. This disclaimer was present when I initially posted it, but when I added a few lines, I ignorantly deleted it.
This post/poem is a philosophical reflection, I would like to have inputs from the readers

P.P.S. Viv, do you still differ?

Life, Time, Woman and Choice

All he wanted was a heaven full of her, and all he got was a name, and a woman. Dwindling lights told him that this is about the place where you would like to be. And shaking his head, he said, there is no place that shall have me forever. And he was asked what forever meant, and he answered straight, from beginning to the end of time. And he was asked is not time relative? He said, no, it is unidirectional in flow. He was asked whether the time had constant perceptible velocity. To this he could not reply confidently. For he knew hours which were a minute long, and he also knew minutes that lasted hours. So, he said, the velocity of time is constant, and that is reality. But he was asked, does time actually flow above perception  level? Does the physical co-ordinate moves when motion of the body is felt? Was reality beyond perception? And if it was, then how can he refer to it confidently? Is he transcendentally illuminated?
Now, it was his time to think. And he thought, I am coming to an understanding now, that which I did not know of before. And to come to this point, in mental plain, I must make a motion. And motion means change in time. That means time is flowing. I can not go back to the point now, where I was asked the first question. Time flows, he again said. And it flows both in perception, and in reality.
Now, he thought he had solved the query, but the question again came back to him. He was asked now, if he moved from one place to another, then what changed and what remained constant. He said, everything changes and nothing remains constant and that proves that time is flowing. He was asked if he could go to a place, the co-ordinates of which was never defined. Could he simultaneously create a place to be in, when he was actually traversing the path. And he thought, the place must be there, and it must be me who is changing co-ordinates. And why, for he decided so. Now, again, he had his answer. I was going that way, my observation was moving. The world is pre-conceived, and it is I who is moving in space. Now, he thought, can I move in time too? As I am moving in space, my choices determine where I want to be. But, the place is always pre-conceived in reality, and I can never go back to where I was, for time has changed if not anything. And he again thought, can time change, or is it me that is moving? For if time was moving, and this was no assumption, then there must be a power that keeps it constant in my lifetime. And it is my birth, my existence all terms like now, here, there. If the time is moving, then it must be free to behave in whichever manner it wants, then we may land in past walking to our home.
But, no, it was always flowing, and he was moving along in it, going to places that he never intends to. Perplexed he was now, for he knew that assuming the motion of time to be constant, he found out that there were endless opportunities in life that can never be utilised, for the time is always flowing. But, he remembered science, and science told him that Time was just another co-ordinate like the spatial ones, and he found this idea a bit confusing to him. To say it is true, he must acknowledge that the observer is moving without any control over the speed, across time and space in a reality that is preconceived.
Preconceived? Yes, preconceived for as the time was not flowing, nothing was being created or destroyed. In fact, they were all present in Now, and Now was everything that was there to be had.
Then, he thought, if reality is prefixed, if occurrences are preconceived, then why do I act to change it? If everything is preconceived, then I shall have what is there to be had.
But, this was not right. For he could shape his future, the name he used for the next destination to be had. And what changed it? He kept thinking. And he realized, that choices were supreme in this world. It is when he decides to turn left rather than right, he closes the door that he leads to that life, and forces himself in a drift that leads left. These are the points where life can be changed.
He realized two things now.
That he was the creator of his reality.
And that reality did justice to those who tried to take both the left and the right way.

P.S. This idea is not original. Interested people can read, Richard Bach's "ONE". And further reference can be found in "Hinduism" where reality is said to be prefixed at birth. The sole important word here is Choice, and the importance of it. It appears that we only have the power to choose where we want to be. And that is a tremendous power to have.

P.P.S. though the statement contains the word woman, and she has been mentioned only once in this post, intelligent readers will find why she is here in this post.

The Sankhya Yoga

This write up is aimed to understand and comprehend the Gita in modern light. It is not in line with any school of thought that is related or unrelated with the Gita. Rather, it arises from desire to know, and to comprehend one great book of human history. Here we shall discuss different comprehensions of Gita by different schools, and we will try to put in our view. It is not written to search for God or Godlessness; rather it is written to enlighten the philosophical aspects of the great book.
This is the first discussion of a series that is planned to understand the mystique philosophy of the Gita, and as is evident from the name, it will be dealing with the second chapter. Here, I plan to divide the book in chapters and conduct separate discussions on them, and then unify all the chapters to arrive at the total philosophy.
As many of us is unfamiliar with the language Sanskrit, I will be giving word be word translation. And I will be dissociating the Sandhis present in the verses for an easier comprehension of the Sanskrit part.
Again, I repeat, it for sake of knowledge.
To start, it must be stated that all schools have rejected the very idea of our endeavor, i.e. to dissect and understand. But, as we are seekers of knowledge we can ignore them and concentrate on our interpretation with our limited mind. We, as seekers of knowledge, believe in only one tool, i.e. the mind. And whatever inabilities it has, we will try to rise above them. If we fail, we will fail trying to understand the great mystery and that is worth a try.
Sankhya Yoga, the second chapter.
The word “Sankhya” arises from “Sankhya” which means number which is again in turn description of a given object. “Sankhya” is that philosophy, which describes soul as the source of life and as described in Gita, it talks about the relation of soul to the Parameshwar. Yoga means the power to control the senses.
It can be clearly inferred that the existence of soul does not take in to account the existence of the creator. The existence of soul can be dealt with or without keeping a view of creator in mind. But, the “Sankhya Yoga” of the Gita takes the existence of creator as certain and talks from then and there.
The Sankhya Yoga of the Gita relates the existence, explains the existence. The meaning that the existence must find is described here, though not in detail. The importance of earthly work has been dealt with in the “Karma Yoga” which we will come to in due time.
Let us first discuss the circumstances of this discussion between Bhagwan Shree Krishna and Arjuna that lead to this revelation. As we know, Arjuna was too much perplexed by the earthly relation and duties and as such Shree Krishna decided to give him a bit of the real knowledge. So, we will be able to see here the relation of the earthly life and life beyond as promised by the Gita in this part.
The Sankhya Yoga has 72 shlokas and it will not be possible for us to go through every one. I will cite those one which appear relevant to me. The knowledgeable reader can always point out if he feels that an important one has been missed.
The extract of all queries by Arjuna
Na hi prapashyami Mama apanudyat
Yat shokam utsoshanam indriyanam
Abapya bhumou asapatnam hriddhim
Rajyam suranam api cha adhipatyam..
||8||2||
I do not see anything, which can get rid of this sorrow, which is drying my senses.
Even if I get this whole world to me, undisputed, with the power of the Gods.

Now, to answer this question and a few more like this one, the Gita is brought into existence. Let us see how it answers:
Here this shloka from Karma Yoga requires a mention
“Loke asmin dwibidha nistha pura prokta may anagha
Gyana-yogena sankyanam karmayogena yoginam.”
||3||3||
In this world, there exist two types of exploration, as explained by me earlier,
By knowledge the seekers know, by work the others know.”
Hence we can say that Sankhya Yoga is for those who are venturing beyond daily life, i.e. who want to know by experimenting and trying.
Here shri Krishna said, “You are lamenting for living and dead and also, you are speaking like a pundit. A true knowledgeable man never laments for either”||11||2||
Why?
Shree Krishna says, “There was no time when either you, or me or all these kings in front of you did not exist, and there will be no time as such in future too”||12||2||
Here, he says, the existence is eternal, i.e. death does not kill the existence, and rather it changes the manifestation, as we shall see from the later shlokas.
The critiques of this shloka have criticized it of relative existence, i.e. the existences exist relative to each other.
The eternal existence as preached here comes from human insecurity of life and death. This relates to the existence of the absurd that I described in the human history post.
This has been made to utter by God, for if it were uttered by human, we would have debated his transcendental illumination, but god by definition is transcendentally illuminated. And all the justifications that have been put forward by believers w.r.t. this shloka have rallied on this point.
Though here, we can find a hint to timelessness, a concept of eternal now and here. We shall look forward in order to find whether this is actually professed.
Shree Krishna says, “as the body changes from young age to old age, the soul leaves the body at death to take another body and as such, true knowledgeable man never laments death.”||13||2||
Again we see, the eternity of life as soul is presented as a reason not to lament. We can debate it with inferior logic such as why does the soul not keep a memory of every birth, but as this is answered later, we will not resort to it right now.
[ A deviation from timelessness, for it is showing passage of soul, and passage signifies time.]
Now, what does a true knowledgeable man gain by knowing this?
Shree Krishna says,” the man who is not perplexed by such happenings such as life, death, heat or cold, is eligible for eternal existence.”||15||2||
The important point to note here is that till now life on earth has not been claimed futile for once. Rather, it has been said that searching for more meaning makes one eligible for eternity.
Now, Shree Krishna says
“the illuminated have augmented that the ever-changing substance is not eternal, for the substance which is eternal never changes.”||16||2||
It is the first bit of philosophical input that is directly mentioned here. If you read the proper Sanskrit shloka, then you will notice one term, Darshivi. It means observer. And Gita has drawn its inference from this observer or philosopher. Now, this argument was put in ancient Greece too. If you refer to Greek philosophy, you will see two early schools- one of eternal change, and one of eternal existence.
Now, this argument is not valid, as it defies simple logic and requires transcendental illumination, again!! But, as this statement is that of an observer, we can surely debate it.
Now, through the several shlokas that come after this one, the soul has been described in details. We will just look at the characters rather than referring to each individual shloka.
“Our body is sure to die, and it will decay, but there exists the eternal soul, which does not change, which can never be killed nor can kill, which is not created, neither dies. This does not die with the death of the body. It is shaswata, I.e. everlasting. The soul does not give rise to other souls.”
Here, it is said that the soul is the existence and body is its only manifestation. Soul changes its manifestation whenever the body becomes too old. As the body is bound by the rules of the world, where decaying is the rule where as the soul is above all such bindings and is eternal. Here again comes the promise of eternal existence, which has moved human mind for centuries.
Now, Gita also tells about the soul that lasts a life time, though while mentioning that it also says it is not the real truth. The truth begins with if you believe. Now, the argument given is that as decaying is the rule of the world that we live in, we must not repent the death as it is THE CERTAINTY of this world.
The argument that is put forward here is specifically mentioned in shloka 26-28 in the second chapter. The views closely resemble that of Buddhism and we can conclude here that this view has been put as an argument to them who believe that life is till death. The point to be noted here is that the Gita does not support this theory; but says that, even if it is believed, the ultimate result is not to moan over life and death as they are eternal reality. Krishna arguments that, as you know from the beginning that life and death is the Reality, then you must not let them rule over your process of work, i.e. you should work on becoming indifferent to the process that surrounds you.
In many verses of the Gita, this quality has been linked with the character of a true knowledgeable person. The Gita says that the person who is unaffected by the process/emotions of the earth is the true saint, STHITADHIMUNIRUCHYATE.
Shree Krishna says, some see this soul as something which is a miracle, some describe it in wonder, and some hear about it in awe, and even after that, many fail to know it.||29||2||
Now, in the next few verses, Shree Krishna tells Arjuna about the earthly and after death consequence that he is going to face is he does not take part in it. Now, here Shree Krishna appears just like another friend who knows a bit about the cause and effect. But, these statements do not even follow logical conclusions. So, we will not be concentrating on these statements.
Now, here Shree Krishna concludes Sankhya Yoga and within this chapter begins explaining Bhakti Yoga.
So, we will take a break here to review what has been said.
We can conclude from above discussion that, life is the manifestation of soul, which Shree Krishna holds to be eternal. Soul is one reality. It is touched by nothing and it is the main force behind every work. No one should repent life and death as it is only a changing manifestation.
Till now, we have only come across the root of life, but we have not yet found an explanation to this question, “Why Life?” And as we will go through we will find these answers.
Now, we shall progress to the Bhakti Yoga part of the second chapter.
According to Shree Krishna, Bhakti Yoga relieves man from the bindings of the Karma.

P.S. The discussion on Bhakti yoga is still awaiting to be put in to words. And I do not know whether readers would want lengthy discussions. So, discussion shall follow after dissection of this post.

Way to success

There is thirty nine ways to success, I was told. And a man could take only one. A life that is given to him, over the existence of which he has no control till he is out of the womb and learnt to think. And he is expected to be successful.
A man must discover what success means, and that is one of the first tasks that he is to do in this world. But, the preparations to do so starts even before he can decide on what he perceives to be success. Some dreams are impregnated in him, and when he can define success for him, he has either walked too far, or he was travelling in a different way altogether.
He always thought that there were other meanings of life than he can hear and perceive of, he thought there must be a meaning to it. And he decided to discover the meaning of success for him. And he started reading everything he could find. So many different ways he did find, so many definitions of success. The he thought, if all can define success then why not me? So, he started defining the meaning of life. And he attributed this meaning to so many tings that he created a tangled existence which could not breathe without hurting one of his meanings. Then he decided enough, there is only one meaning, it requires me to be happy. But, when he traded that path, he found that the ways were more often than the destinations most of the time. He said, ends do not signify means. It is rather means that signify ends. So, he then decided to have means rather than dreaming about ends. And to his surprise, he found out that it was impossible to have a mean without perceiving an end to be at the end of his roads. So he was back to square one again, and this was more frustrating and demanding than the first time. He thought, perhaps ignorance is bliss, but again, he knew this and that did not ruin him of his bliss. The questions kept coming and he was confused, but all the while he felt that he was on the right path.
Now he could clearly see that his life's mean were depended on the ends he chose, and the gifts of end were always dependent on the means he used. In a circularity of reason he lived, and he tried with all his might to look beyond this circularity but he could not. Then he thought, what if there is no meaning at all? What if all meanings are brought in to existence by my desires to have them, what if all were my constructs, and me caught in them? What if I can decide to be happy. But still he found that he was more prone to choose some ends out of all the possibilities, and he thought yes, I am conditioned to choose them. Then he thought, who conditioned me? It is my mind that acts on me. So my decisions must be interlinked, that there must be an existing relation between all the decisions that are taken. There must be interlinked paths that are there, which mind can not see and find, unless it understands the weakness of reason and power of choice, and the power of reason hence beyond. The reality he thought is not my construct, yet the reality is affected in a great way by me. There is a constant option for me, to live in the construct, or to match the construct with the existing. I have power to challenge my interpretations, and that is about all the power I have. I can never see the existence as it is, for I always see images. But I can always match my findings, for nothing except the mind can escape the laws of nature, and even the mind is bound sometimes.
Now, he had an answer or lack of it to proceed.
And I met this man and asked him, How many ways are there to success? And he told me, None but the one I have taken. And I asked him what is the way? And he told me it depends on every individual. How? I asked, and he told me" Find it" . And that was the last I have heard of him, for he was never there to be seen any more.

The necessity to think objectively

Whom do I name with my name and where do I go when the world is shattering down to shambles? And all men whine and cry, and create disillusions that are going to serve them through this earthquake which is rattling the fixed laws of mind. Men cling on, and their beliefs take them through to a world which there is not, yet a world which all of them would like to live a life in.
Whom do I name with my name?
Walking I noticed, the next step was always difficult, as it took me to a new land altogether, and planting the foot was the toughest, for I never knew what the land was all about. And still I walked beyond, and my walks were results of my minds desire not to be stagnant.
The objective reality, did I ever know? For what I did, was always associated with belief, and belief could never bring reality in existence, rather it created another fictionalized universe. Still, some men whine, and some move on, some create an idealistic dream, and some subjective illusions, yet, all there is to be found, is nothing but reflections of able/less able mind.
If you have to move on beyond this point, then your feet must be confident that the ground is farm below, and whether your knowledge is subjective or objective, you objectively believe the 'whatever' your mind creates. And you know that you are fooling yourself too, because suppositions were never your idea of a road, and yet you can not move without supposing this and that, such a irony called life you have.
And yet, in your breaths, you want to change this world, where you can not make yourself live. Which is always tormenting to you, and secluding yourself in your idealistic dream, you cry "I have found bliss at last". And it is bliss that your paranoid mind found, but you could not have it here where you were born, and you curse and kick all who are associated with your birth, for turbulence they all did bring. There are others who get bored by life, and seeing no escape, cry all is relative, and their limitless idiocy can never enlighten them, that they are even not qualified to speak.
My dream, it was to have a world for myself, where I could churn bliss and write fables, and does not reality hit you hard when you discover you are an escapist by nature? The mother that feeds you is all that you could see, and if your feeble hands can not create, you whine and escape, blaming all but yourself, worshiping Roark at heart, you cry this is not what there must be.
There is nothing called must and should, "Suit yourself" is the word defining world, and here you must build and gather, for here you are born, and now is the reality. Future is nowhere that you can find, and great minds never burn their presents to have breads, and when you feel time running past you, you ask yourself" Am I not a hero?"
Hero you could have been, if you acknowledged what is there to be had, and instead you kept running all the while, running to imagine bliss and happiness. And thus it is your necessity that makes you conceive a objective reality that justifies all the running that you have made.
And hoping that the world shall change, and you shall find a place in that world is escapism at its highest. No body changes the world, they just bring new things in it. Your neighbor shall remain the same and same will remain the everyday challenge. Yet, if you wish, you can find bliss here, for whatever chance that you have, is here.

P.S. This is a very light reflection of what I was thinking, the main idea is hidden somewhere, which is not coming in straight words now.

A few lines for myself

Love not by brain. Love not by qualities. Love not for appreciations.
For all the above are present in a thousand, then how can a woman command your love unless it is looking for a mere gateway?
Love the woman for her name, though perfect yet she may not be, and seeker of truth is in her trait, then love her mate, without awaiting perfection.
Love the woman for what she brings to you, and not what she creates for herself. Acknowledge her light, but you are not a light-hungry parasite, and unless you don't have light in yourself then she is not so desirable.
Love the woman for the values that she brings, and not end there but go on creating values. And idiots were those who threw away their present, believing their future was something separate.
Hold your woman close when she is weak and fragile, and in her eyes you shall see yourself. And the might that you feel is nothing you command, it is what her ever playful minds give you as a bait.
Hold your woman close when she says the sea is distant and she will like a walk. For her mind is adrift now, and did you not wish to charm her a lifetime.
Leave her not, ever, till she is what you thought she was when you came in. For if you knew what you want and what you could create, then the chance to do so never eludes you.
Love her never wishing her to be something, for she may decide to be just the opposite. And you mean nothing to her unless your roads her shared by her mind.
Hope not to see a better face or traits elsewhere, for if you do, love is parasitism for you. And the flow shall leave you even more thirsty, and a thousand plunges shall not wet your skin.
If you happen to be in love, ask yourself, if you seek bliss or pleasure. The second love may or may not offer, but without the first, you can never feel love.
So, till you feel turbulence in your mind, and you are not sure where you are going, stop and check what is happening, for the answer lies just left to the right hand.
And you may ask me where from I write all this, and I shall say, this is what love brought me. And love for you may be an entirely different thing, but then, I do not define your definitions.